How to Know When to Set Boundaries for Relationships

How to Know When to Set Boundaries for Relationships

I had the most inspiring interaction this week when it comes to knowing when to set boundaries for relationships.

I’d texted a girlfriend asking her if she wanted to make a dinner date sometime in the next 2 weeks.

She responded that she’s in a cocooning phase, that she loves me and just wants to be a hermit right now for a while.

I loved the honesty. I loved the clarity. I loved how well she’s taking care of herself.

I was inspired, as I often am when people I love and respect set clear boundaries for relationships (even when they’re with me – in fact sometimes especially when they’re with me!)

This is a woman who’s been practicing setting boundaries for relationships for years so she knows when she needs them and she knows how to set them.

But what about if you’re new to boundaries?

How do you know when you need boundaries for relationships?

Do you need them all the time or just sometimes?

I have an easy method for knowing when I need more boundaries for relationships and when I need less.

Tracking my cyclical energy according to my menstrual cycle and the lunar cycle helped me overcome postpartum anxiety and insomnia, plus discover my calling. NBD.

On a macro level, the beauty of tracking your cycle and/or the lunar cycle is knowing if you’re in the ramping up or winding down half of the cycle.

The ramping up half of the cycle is from a few days after your period starts until the day you ovulate or a few days after.

(Using a tool like the Daily Energy Tracker that’s part of the Do Less Planner helps you get to know your unique energy ebbs and flows so that you can be more precise about the exact days of your ramping up and winding down phases.)

The winding down half of the cycle is from the day after you ovulate (or a few days after depending on your energy ebbs and flows) until a few days after you start your period (again, depending on your unique cyclical experience.)

If you don’t have a period or are using hormonal birth control, then you’d want to use the lunar cycle to gauge if you’re in a ramping up or winding down phase.

The ramping up half of the lunar cycle is the waxing moon from when the moon is new until it’s full.

The winding down half of the lunar cycle is the time from when the moon is full until it’s new.

So, what does this have to do with boundaries?

Well, during the ramping up phase of the month, you will likely need fewer boundaries.

However, you will likely need more boundaries for relationships during the winding down phase.

It’s really quite simple.

Getting to know how you feel throughout the month based on your cycle (or the lunar cycle if you don’t have a period or have a medicated period) is the key to knowing when you need to be setting boundaries.

Period. End of story. (No pun intended.)

If you’ve noticed that sometimes you want to spend more time alone and cocoon, as my friend was feeling, and sometimes you feel like being around people, awesome! 

You were designed to feel that way.

You are a beautiful, cyclical being whose energetic ebbs and flows are incredibly predictable if you pay close attention to them.

Boundaries for Relationships

Using a tool like the Do Less Planner to get to know your unique experience of cyclical energy is the key to knowing when and how to set boundaries for relationships.

When you track your energy and set boundaries when you need them, your relationships will thrive and so will you!

OVER TO YOU: 

When during the month do you notice you need more boundaries for relationships? How can you implement what you learned in this article? Let us know in the comments!

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4 comments

  1. Beautifully expressed! Thank you!

    1. Team Origin

      So glad it resonated with you Laura!

  2. Interesting concept! Am definitely keen to try this out, Brings a mindfulness I may or may not factor in (i’m not usually one for tracking & have preferred intuitively feeling things out rather than recording them) for 2022 😉

    1. Team Origin

      Thanks for being here Kim! This is all about essentially tracking your intuition so it’s a bit of both 🙂

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